The Crab and the Turtle

thethemeis: Selfishness

theauthoris: Deadbeat

One summer's morning, young Turtle was out looking for food. He had already searched down by the rock pools and over by the great pipe where sometimes human waste can be found, but found nothing. He decided to try his luck on the shore. On his way to the shore he came across old Crab going about his business.

"Good morning Crab," he said. "Busy looking for food too are you?"

"Piss off," said the grumpy old Crab. "This is my fucking spot."

"Don't worry Crab, I won't take anything from your spot. I was just on my way to see if there was any food washed up on the shore."

"The shore, good idea." mumbled Crab, and he scuttered off towards the beach.

"Brilliant," said Turtle. "We'll go and look together, oh what fun.

As the pair approached land they could see a dozen seagulls flying overhead. Sensing food was near they hurried up the beach. Lying on the sand they found the fresh carcass of on oil covered baby dolphin. They couldn't believe their luck, they had hit the jackpot.

"Oh wow! With this dolphin carcass we can feed all of the creatures in our neighbourhood for months." said the excited Turtle.

"Fuck that! I found the fucking thing, no other bastard's having some of my dolphin!" yelled Crab.

"Well, technically Crab, WE found it."

"Ok then, we'll split it. You can do whatever the fuck you like with your half, but no fuckers their hands on my half." reasoned Crab.

"Ok then Crab, it's a deal." replied Turtle.

Together they spent the rest of the day tearing off chunks of dolphin flesh and taking them back to their homes. As the sun was setting and a small amount of the dolphin was left, a lone Seagull flew down to the Crab and the Turtle.

"Evening gentlemen. Pardon my intrusion, but I have just heard of this dolphin carcass from my friends. I would have gone flying with them earlier but I had to stay home and look after my sickly son. I would greatly appreciate it if you allowed me to have some of this food to take back to him. I struggle to find food for the both of us at the moment,"

"Piss off you scavenging twat!" yelled the Crab. "This is our dolphin carcass, go find you own food!"

The seagull began to fly away, but thr Turtle took pity on him.

"Here you are Seagull, you can take what is left of my half of the carcass."

"Thank you very much kind Turtle, my son and I are in your debt. If you ever need a favour, please just ask."

The Seagul took half of what was left of the Dolphin, Crab took the other half and they all went back to their hoes to eat.

The next day, the other sea creatures in the neighbourhood who had heard of the carcass that Crab and Turtle had found began to visit the pair in an effort to get some food. All that asked Crab for something to eat were turned away. However, all that visited Turtle were invited inside for a feast. Turtle entertained Blowfish, Conga Eel, Lobster, Octopus, Squid and Starfish all enjoyed many great feasts at Turtle's house, where they all ate, sang and danced 'till the early hours.

One day though, Turtle went to his cupboard and found that all of his Dolphin carcass had been eaten. He went out and looked for food but found none anywhere. That night he went to visit Octopus.

"Hello Octopus, sorry to impose but I have run out of food. I was just wondering if you could spare any."

"Ohh, sorry Turtle. I already have Squid over and we really only have enough food for the two of us."

"That's ok," said Trurtle. "I will try elsewhere."

Next Turtle went to visit Lobster.

"Hello Lobster. I'm very hungry and I was just wondering as I let you eat my dolphin for many nights if tonight I could eat with you."

"Who the fuck do you think you are!" said Lobster. "I could never stand you really, I just wanted to eat your dolphin. Now bugger off and pester someone else."

"Oh, that's a shame." whimpered Turtle.

Everybody that Turtle asked for food that night either had none or were unwilling to give to him. He went to bed that night very hungry and very sad, but said to himself that he would try even hard to find food tomorrow. The next day he decided to try and search by the shore again. He went up to the beach and looked all over, but was unable to find any food. Just as Turtle was beginning to lose hope he saw a familiar face flying overhead.

"Hello! Excuse me! Hello there!" yelled Turtle.

"Alright there, what do you want?" said Seagul.

"It's me, Turtle. I gave you some of my dolphin for you and your sick son a few months ago."

"My son?" replied Seagul.

"I'm sure it was you." said Turtle. "It was very tasty if slightly oily dolphin. You said to ask you for a favour any time."

"Oh yeah, I remember." said Seagull. "That was good dolphin. Look, I don't really have a son mate. I just said that because, well....a guys gotta eat. I'm sorry but I couldn't help you even if I wanted to, there's no food around at the moment mate. My advice is, when you do find some, keep it to yourself next time. Why not ask that Crab, he had the right idea."

With that the Seagull flew away to search for his own food. Now feeling very hungry and out of ideas Turtle went to visit Crab to see if would give him any of his dolphin.

"What the fuck do you want?" said an angry Crab.

"I was just wondering if you had any of that dolphin left." said Turtle meekly.

"Why, what the fuck did you do with all yours?"

"I shared it amongst the other creatures of our neighbourhood and now it's all gone. I asked them all for some food, but nobody else would give me any. I know you don't have to give me anything, but I would only want a little bit. Please Crab, I am ever so hungry."

"Tough! You should have been such a stupid cunt!" yelled Crab and slammed the door in Turtle's face.

A few days later Crab found Turtle dead by the great pipe where sometimes human waste can be found. He took his body home and scooped out the flesh which he added to his pile of decaying dolphin flesh. He used the shell as an armchair.

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Sometimes it pays to be a little shellfish.